broke and bummed

I really don't know what to write today I am a little overwhelmed with everything that is going on right now. I am leaving for Jordan in about 6 days. My professor is actually already over there. So for the very first time in my life I am going out of the country and I am going all by my lonesome. At least for part of the journey. I feel so inadequate compared to the people I am going with that have traveled all over the world, speaking different languages and having hundreds of experiences that I am having for the first time. I'm a little overwhelmed by the entire thing.
Speaking of traveling to exotic places and doing amazing things my little brother Jon finally got his mission call to LIMA, PERU! He is going to be leaving on August 27th. I am so incredibly excited. I was terrified that he would leave while I was at Jordan but luckily that is not the case.
So I am pretty excited about this summer and I am not quite sure why. It is the first summer that I am not moving home so I will be chilling in Provo, working and hanging out with whoever else is staying. Also my family is finally making an offer on this amazing house but I refuse to go inside unless something is for sure. I just can't handle the constant rollercoaster that follows any decision my parents make. So once it is for sure I'll visit.
It's really funny what life throws at you. When I was getting ready to graduate from high school I wanted so much to be away from my family where I could do my own thing and not have the pressures of visiting and being involved in the drama. Then I went to BYU and my aunt was here. That was ok because I loved hanging out with her. Then my grandparents who have ignored me most of my life felt threatened by my relationship with my aunt and suddenly were inviting me over every sunday for dinner. Then my other grandparents moved into the area and now my family is moving up the street from where I live. I'm not saying that any of this is a bad thing it's just funny how what you thought you wanted or wanted to escape from changes throughout time.

...and so is life.

Wow I really don't know how to describe how I am feeling right now. I am crazy all over the place. I leave for Jordan in 12 days 2 hours and 14 minutes. I am so excited and happy I can hardly contain myself. But after Jordan what is going to happen? I don't think I mentioned this but I decided not to go to Guatemala this summer. It broke my heart but I really felt that I needed to stay home this summer. Well not even home home, but in Provo. The terrifying thing is that when I come back I will have no job and have bills and a lot of other stuff to take care of. Life is scary when you feel blind but I know that it was the right decision, even though it broke my heart. But I know that it is the right thing to do so I know that I will be ok.
Well I have to go shower because it is not smelling so good where I am sitting right now. I smell like chlorine and morning breath. Ew. :) Also I have my first final today and a pizza party tonight. My grandpa makes the best pizza in the world so I am super excited!!!

2 days and counting...

There are officially two days left of school. Am I excited? Yes, yes I am. Even though winter semester is the hardest for me, the end of it is my favorite. One, because I love crunch time...I am a pressure junkie. It reminds me of that song by Three Days Grace. "...I hate everything about you, why do I love you!" Yep that is how I feel about the final days of the semester, such a crazy exhausted adrenaline rush.
So this week was pretty intense. There were several reasons for it but the funniest is as follows. Once upon a time there was a girl that went to Park City with her Auntie, Unkie and baby to do some fun shopping and have a glorious day off. Was it glorious? Yes, the weather was amazing and there was nearly no one there which was nice. Very relaxing and a great break. Upon arriving home I went to put my few but sweet purchases away and to my dismay I discovered that there was something horribly wrong with a pair of hiking shoes that I had purchased to use in and after Jordan. They were beautiful hiking shoes, I loved them but neglected to check upon purchasing them whether there was a shoe for the right foot and the left foot...I think you know where I am going with this. So I have two right shoes. Yes it is true. I was pretty bummed but found consolation in the fact that the store had two left shoes. My revenge is somewhat complete until Thursday when I can swap one of my right shoes for a left one. :) After the exchange I do believe I will live happily ever after. The end.
My best friend from high school came and stayed with me Friday night. It was kind of a last hurrah before the semester ends. It was the funnest time I have had in a while. We laughed like we were little kids and woke up with severe abdominal cramps from the soreness of our muscles. I do believe I actually lost weight from laughing. Happiness is bliss. Here are some pictures that we took. We were under a blanket tent on my bed taking pictures of different stuff such as eating, barfing, checking out a cute boy, and just smiling. There were dozens more of these but these are my favorites. Don't worry there were no illegal substances involved...but maybe silliness should be illegal. :)

A Little Less Conversation

So as of today I am having a teeny bit of an Elvis kick. Who wouldn't is all I can say. :)

Bug is finally out of the hospital and now everyone is just trying to keep her entertained a little bit so she can get well. I love the bug but boy she gets bored super fast. I think it runs in the family. We just are way to active for our own good. Speaking of active I went swimming for the first time in months tonight. So when people say that going back to something is like riding a bike, it all comes back to you aren't really talking about swimming. I guess in a way it may seem like it. The smell of the chlorine and the way the water envelopes your body is relatively the same but I remember a time when I would swim and the water would fell like a cool breeze on my skin because I was just cruising through it. It wasn't exactly that way tonight, in fact it felt more like honey. Still it was marvelous. There was one new thing that I noticed though...my dance has made my swimming pretty insane. Why didn't I dance like this when I was swimming competitively? I would have killed everyone! When I was doing butterfly my back and hips felt like rubber and because I'm more flexible my body just went with the flow of the water. It felt awesome! Also my legs are crazy, crazy strong so my kicking was crazy insane fast. Poor guy I was swimming with couldn't keep up...although he tried pretty dang hard. :) Unfortunate that this doesn't only happen in the pool. :)
So what else is going on besides swimming? I went to the temple this morning and it was absolutely wonderful. I don't know if anyone besides me is crazy enough to picture this but the fountain in front of the provo temple kinda looks like the temple. I took a picture to emphasize my point. I noticed that today as I was sitting there thinking about life in general and how blessed we are to be here now. It was an interesting day. I feel very conflicted right now, like my life is a transition period between to chapters in my life. I feel a pull from the part of me that wants to move forward to new adventures and yet another part of me that is struggling to leave what I have now. So is life. :)
I can't believe this semester is almost over!!! I am so excited to start the amazingness of this summer!!! I have a feeling this summer will be one to remember. :)

AAAHHH!!!

Well I think I have finally hit crazy mode. With the last week of class and trying to get ready for finals, getting ready for Jordan, still waiting to hear on Guatemala, having my sister in the hospital, registering for classes, being nearly broke with the world to pay for and not knowing what to do next. Well so is life. :) I figure you just keep breathing and it will all sort itself out.
This last weekend I was able to go home for general conference. It was so wonderful and such a historic event. It was so amazing to stand at the same time with millions of other people and sustain a new prophet. I loved it. During conference Stephanie and I decided to make the family dinner from some recipes that I got from work. It was the first time that I made a big family dinner. We made baked ziti and dutch apple tarts. It was sooo good!

Believe me, the pictures don't do it justice. Especially with ice cream on the apple tarts. Mm, mm good! Also Jon finally turned in his papers, so when I saw him this weekend it was for one of the last times before I leave for Jordan and he leaves for his mission. It really was a great weekend. I absolutely loved it!
So that is kind of what has been going on lately. Well at least a super quick summary of it. I can't believe I'm leaving in 20 days. It all feels so surreal at this point. I am leaving the country for the first time in my life doing the thing I love to do most! I know life could get better in some way but it is small. :)