New schedules

In 2014 (I actually had to look it up) I went with Bug to a lecture at BYU by Ed Catmull.  It was fantastic and I have thought about it pretty regularly since I went.

I am really struggling right now in a number of ways.  I am beyond exhausted, I am behind in my work, and suddenly I have a lot of non-thesis/life tasks being thrown at me.  Honestly, that is just how these things go for everyone, not just me.  When it rains it pours right?

So, after downing not one but TWO pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream on Monday and not leaving my room except to pee on Tuesday and Wednesday I realized I needed some major changes or I would not survive the next bit.  This is where Ed Catmull came in.

I remembered him speaking about his creative teams and management techniques during his lecture and the absolute necessity of constant re-evaluation in order to encourage and facilitate efficient creativity.  He said that what worked before, even with the same people, may not work again and that what worked yesterday may not work today.  I realized I needed to make some changes, starting with my schedule because honestly, I don't believe that I can control my mental illness anymore than I can control a cold after I have caught it.  I need to cope and let it run its course.  Schedules and structure helps me but only if it is in the right way.  So, late Wednesday night I worked on a schedule and tested it Thursday and Friday.

It worked, and not just a little bit.  It crazy worked.

I did an hour of free-write on my thesis everyday followed by 7 HOURS of productive work.

So eight hours total.

Full time work.

Guess what?

It was easy.

In fact, I had to stop myself from working so I wouldn't burn myself out.  Then I had HOURS in the evening to clean, stretch, read, relax, shut down if I need to.  And I did.  I did all of those things at one point or another during that time.  I also made dinner.

So here is what I am realizing about life.

It isn't necessarily the difficulty of the tasks but how we approach them that makes the difference.

Right now I am sick in my soul and so very, very tired BUT it is not stopping me.

Until it does.

Then I will re-evaluate and fix it again.

AND IT WON'T STOP ME!

Cheers!