Reflection and Understanding

I like to understand why things are the way they are.

Why I am the way I am.

I feel that if I can't understand what I'm feeling, the least I can do is try to understand where that feeling is coming from.

For example, when I am angry (which is a secondary emotion) I try to figure out what initial emotion caused that anger.

This can be hard sometimes, because, at least right now, it seems that no one knows less about me than I seem to.

Weird eh?

But that is how it seems at the moment.

So I try to ask the person who knows me best, my Heavenly Father.

Usually I get an answer.

But not in this most recent scenario I find myself in.

Frustrating?

YES.

Until this morning.

This morning I got an answer...kind of.

Let me explain.

This morning I was reading the beginning of 3 Nephi 27.

Specifically verses 4-5.

They state:

4) And the Lord said unto them: Verily, verily, I say unto you, why is it that the people should murmur and dispute because of this thing?

5) Have they not read the scriptures...

Previous to these verses the disciples of Christ had just asked what they should name the church because people had been arguing about the matter.  Those verses were the beginning of Christ's response.

Basically, why do we wonder over some things when the scriptures have the answers.

That had a big impact on me, then my alarm went off and I had to go make breakfast.

Interestingly enough I decided to read an old Ensign article while I ate.

The article was Finding Answers by Joseph Fielding Mcconkie.

Did it tell me how to find the answers I seek?

YES...in exactly the same way that the scriptures from this morning stated.

The summary paragraph at the beginning of the article says:

"It is not the design of heaven that we be rescued from all difficult situations.  Rather, it is the Lord's will that we learn to handle them."

So how did it tell me to handle my desperate situations?

The same way that Christ told his apostles.

1. Pray to my Heavenly Father.
2. Read the scriptures and the words of the modern prophets and apostles.
3. Read over those blessings I inspirations I have already been given (which is why it is important to write them down!!!) 

So this morning I had my prayers answered in an unexpected way.

While I didn't get the answer I thought I wanted, I got the one that will help me the most.

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This Morning.

This morning I spent some time getting to know the Study Notebook on lds.org.

Which, by the way, I highly recommend.

I'm from the "age of information",

I love my technology, hyperlinks, and databases.

This one is super cool.

I read the First Presidency Message for the Relief Society lesson later today.

Of course, I bookmarked, highlighted, and noted things...on the site...and it saved them.

Yes, all the things I love.

Then I started reading the Sunday School lesson but got distracted by the fact that I can highlight, put tags, and notes in the Gospel Library App on my ipod and have it show up in my Study Notebook on the site.

I loved it...and HIGHLY recommend it.

Happy Sunday!!!

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Such an enlightening morning...

...and only 6:30 am!!!

I have been able to stick to my goal of studying my scriptures every morning (from 6 - 6:30) and it has made such an impact on my days.

This morning I was reading from 3 Nephi 21. The verse that had the most impact on me this morning was 29, it says:

29 And they shall go out from all nations; and they shall not go out in haste, nor go by flight, for I will go before them, saith the Father, and I will be their rearward.

Initially I thought the last word of the verse was reward...which made sense, having the spirit of God with you is definitely a reward, but it isn't...it is rearward. What?

So I followed the footnote to Isaiah 52: 11-12 which is nearly identical and ends with the word "rereward"...good grief, I don't know that one either.

Footnote time.

The footnote says: OR rearguard (rearguard makes more sense to me, someone who has your back)

There was another reference to Doctrine & Covenants 49:27 which gives a little explanation, also I just love these verses:

26 Behold, I say unto you, go forth as I have commanded you; repent of all your sins; ask and ye shall receive; knock and it shall be opened unto you.

27 Behold, I will go before you and be your rearward; and I will be in your midst, and you shall not be confounded.

28 Behold, I am Jesus Christ, and I come quickly. Even so. Amen.

So what did I learn from my scripture study today?

AT LEAST 3 things (the 3 most important)

1. I am blown away by how connected the scriptures are. I started with a question about 1 word in 1 verse and by following the footnotes; I not only found my answer (the meaning of rearward) but so much more than that. I started in the Book of Mormon, moved over to the Old Testament, and ended in the Doctrine & Covenants. Using all of these, I found a fullness of knowledge. Amazing.

2. My Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ has got my back (He is my rearward). Something I learned from D&C 49:26, is that all I have to do is ask, because he loves me.

3. Finally, and most importantly, things are done in God's time. The first thing I read, 3 Nephi 21, especially in verse 29, was that despite my excitement, God goes first, and then we come to share what we learn.

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Anyway, long post, but wonderful morning.

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