The Necessities of Life

Miracles.....yep that seems to be the greatest necessity in my life right now. The beauty of this necessity is seeing how amazing God is and the many diverse ways in which He saves me. I don't want to say that there is a bad side to this....I don't think there really is but there is a slight downside in that I worry and the worry literally is killing me. I mean there are worse things than ulcers and not being able to eat or sleep but right now those are pretty rough things for me to handle. I have been so blessed in these last few weeks of the semester that it would be wrong not to recognize them and in my love of lists here are two new ones. :)
Miracles
1. I was able to complete 2 research papers in just over 2 days. When I say I was able to complete them that means that I did all of the research, writing, proofreading, re-writing and turning in for two major papers in 2 days. Talk about miraculous.
2. My lab partner dumped our site report paper on me. Like the majority of it. Now is this a miracle? Heck yes it is. She had insisted on writing the entire paper but she is infamous for not getting things done and while I love her I was not going to sacrifice my grade for her stubbornness. So miracle number 2...my grade is in my hands, just where I like it. :)
3. I had a meltdown...I realized that I had burnt myself out and as I was collapsed on the kitchen floor, alone and not knowing where to turn I heard a thought, "Allison you need to take a semester off." As much as I don't want to this it is the best option for me. I'm taking one class but this way I won't be in debt before grad school, I'll have savings and not be starving and broke and I'll be able to put the pieces of my life back together.
4. I got asked to apply for a job...a real job, not some student job but a real job for the summer. Here is the scenario and try to pass it off as anything but miraculous. My mom is a teacher and the father of one of the students in her class in an archaeologist looking for 4 archaeologists for a summer position paying a minimum of more money than I have ever had on a job. He gave her his card to pass along to me. We'll see how it goes.
5. My family. This semester has been absolutely insane for me. I really think that I am half crazy and any other group of people would have put me out of my misery like a horse that had shattered their leg but instead they have been there for me, let me crash on their couch and allowed me to raid their fridge since I can't afford to feed myself. They are my miracle.
Miracles to be
There are several things that have to happen before I can breath again. One, i have to somehow miraculously finish my paper today. I don't have enough money to pay my bills because of constant illness this semester. I can't, in good conscience, except this amazing job without selling my impossible to sell apartment contract. While I am dating a few people right now for some strange reason someone I'm not dating has complete control of my heart and he has absolutely no idea. I don't have any idea what to do in that situation. Actually I don't know what to do in any of these situations.
I wonder if it is bad to worry if things will actually work out...I guess faith is not necessarily an expectation of a miracle but the belief that God doesn't wish us to fail. I guess that is what I am trying to learn. It's hard to relinquish all control and have complete trust in something that I cannot see. I'm trying though. :) I definitely have the desire and Alma said that that is the start.
So the biggest miracle? God is there, He hears me and He will never abandon me. This will all work out in the end.