The Floating Leaf

As I was walking to class today I was so happy to see the beautiful leaves falling from the trees. Then I noticed that one small, yellow leaf was suspended midair and was just spinning in the breeze. The piece of random web that this leaf had gotten stuck on was invisible but from a certain angle and so this leaf seemed to be stuck midair trying to follow the laws of gravity but unable to do so. That's kind of how I have felt lately and because of that I realize that there are some things that I need to change. I have been so serious and so driven that I have not taken the time to find any joy in my life right now. I'm not happy and it's my own fault. So I've decided to change some things and do away with others...at least for a little while. :) I've decided that I need to not be so serious and so stressed out. I think when I walked into my midterm and forgot everything because I was so stressed is a sign that I need to chill out a bit. By chilling out I mean that I'm going to take any unnecessary stressors from my life for a little while. I'm going to try to stop eating food that I'm allergic to and make me feel like crap, like chocolate, wheat and milk. I'm not going to date for a little while. I've been to stressed about this and it is absolutely ridiculous to be honest. I just need to have fun for a little while with nothing serious in any shape or form. I also am going to try to not do homework after 5pm unless absolutely necessary. I'm also going to make time to exercise more because it makes me feel good. Making time for this is the problem that I'm going to fix. I need to start going to the temple again at least every other week. The most important though is that I need to stop being so serious and negative by learning more about why God loves me and why that should entice me to accept and love myself. Does this all seem pretty overwhelming? Yes but I need to make some changes and this will help. So there you go.

Video of Jon scaring a duck and then Jen scaring Jon.

Good Night Nurse it's been awhile.

There has been so many things going on since I last wrote that I don't know what to write! As much sense as that doesn't make here is a small list of things that have happened. Good grief.
1. Jon got his mission call to Peru....and has now been in Peru for about a month.
- Dropping Jon off at the MTC was the neatest thing and made me realize how important his mission is. I am so incredibly proud of him. Before he left we went on our last brother/sister date and it was super fun. Here are a few of the pics of that and him at the MTC. Oh and the picture of him flexing his muscles in the wetsuit needs some explanation. We went swimming for the last time in 2 years and he forgot his suit. Luckily :) I had my wetsuit in the back of my car. So that is what he wore...the end. Basically it was the funniest thing of all time.

2. My family moved about 11 blocks away from my apartment. While at first this was pretty tough to swallow the fact that my grocery bill for last month was $14.54 was pretty nice. I think this situation has the makings of a good deal.
3. I finished my Independent Study courses so my credit load for this semester went from 20 to 17. I find that after having the load of 20 credits for the first few weeks of school 17 is quite nice.
4. This one is important. I am really debating whether or not I should change the emphasis for my masters to Egyptian archaeology as opposed to Mayan archaeology. I have been debating that for quite sometime now. I like digging in the sand as opposed to the mosquito rainforest and my professor doesn't put me to sleep. I think I need to go on a dig in Guatemala to be sure but that is how it is looking for the moment...we shall see.
5. Today I am sicker than a dog...that has to make a list because I usually get sick from utter exhaustion and lack of sleep but today it is due to a head cold that I picked up at work. Basically at the moment I hate my life. At least the part of it where my head is full of cotton and snot and the pressure makes it hard to function. That is all.
So basically there is a list of 5 things that have happened since I last wrote. There have been so many more but without time to write I seem to have forgotten them. Oh well. :)

Courage is...

I was not feeling well today so I didn't go to work but I had the opportunity to work a crazy amount on my Independent Study course. I've been a little frustrated lately feeling like I am just sitting around waiting for something to happen. It's one of those overwhelming feelings that you get that something is about to happen. Yeah I'm getting that in a big way, I'm not going to lie. So I was reading for my class and read in Doctrine and Covenants 5:34 and I really felt like it was an answer to the questions that have been floating around in my brain.

"Yea, for this cause I have said: Stop, and stand still until I command thee, and I will provide means whereby thou mayest accomplish the thing which I have commanded thee."

That gave me such comfort because I realized that I feel this way for a reason but like everything in life there is a purpose behind it. I also read one of my favorite scriptures in section 6:36

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not."

What else is there to say. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father who loves me even with my shortcomings. He is with me every moment and I need to have faith that He is taking care of me because He is. I am so grateful.

Video of the boys jumping posts

Yay for answered prayers

So ever since I got back from Jordan I have been praying for rain. I have missed it so terribly. One of my favorite things in the whole world is rainstorms with wind and lightning and thunder and rain that soaks you clean through. I love the sound of lightning above the cloud cover and the overwhelming boom of the thunder. I love the way the wind holds you and threatens to carry you away. I love the sounds, smells and danger of a really good rainstorm. I have been praying, wishing and hoping for rain since I got home and I finally got a little bit of my wish. It is absolutely beautiful outside. There is great clouds with wind and there was some great lightning outside and great thunder.

Little Bug's birthday was yesterday and she wanted to go to a park that we always play frisbee at and then went to the Joseph Smith movie on Temple Square. It was really fun and here are some pictures of the temple and us hanging out!

It was such a wonderful day!

good grief

Well things have been pretty insane lately. I finally got a job working at BYU laundry. I'm also attempting to get my Independent Study courses done. It seems that I will never finish. Eveytime I have time to work on it I am either to tired or something unavoidable comes up. Family stuff seems to not only be the major priority but the force that is overtaking my life. It won't be so overwhelming for to much longer though.

wow...there's nothing else to say

So today my mom had a job interview at the seemingly perfect elementary school. It would be pretty close to the house they are trying to get, Jennifer would go to the middle school right next to the school and Stephanie and Andrew would be right down the street at Timpview. Miracle for the day...she got the job. They were so impressed with her. Also it looks like, if nothing catastrophic happens then they are definitely going to get the house. I am so amazed by all of this. It seems that God is truly creating the way. I am so grateful!!!

aching and baking

So I have had quite a bit of down time since I have been back to Provo. I am still job searching and trying to get over jet lag and stress of coming back and trying to figure out why I needed to be in Provo so badly. I guess I'll figure it out eventually...hopefully it doesn't take until my deathbed.
I printed off some pictures from Jordan and placed them on the walls in my room. I still can not get over how beautiful everything was. If I wasn't in some of those pictures I don't know if I could believe that I ever did something so amazing. It really changed my perspective and has really made me ache for traveling. I keep planning my next adventure in my mind. We'll see if that pans out someday, hopefully really soon.
Despite aching for my archaeology and digging I am doing pretty good with life here in Provo. I cooked this awesome dinner tonight and that was super great. I definitely did not eat this good in Um Sayhoun :) There are pros and cons no matter where you are. Good to remember, acknowledge and be grateful for the pros though.

I love the grass!!!

Well I am finally back home from Jordan. I was absolutely amazed how good it felt when we got back. I knew that I missed America but goodness gracious. I was also very happy to see grass again. Grass was definitely in short supply in my location in the good country of Jordan. Grass is nice, so are really green trees...yeah I like those as well. I'm still trying to get over jet lag. It's been pretty hard to say the least. I figured that I had been awake for about 52 hours. It was not the funnest of experiences and I finally ended up collapsing in sheer exhaustion at about 7pm last night. I was grateful to finally be asleep. It had been a long few days trying to get home but I am home now and all is super great!